Engaged Pt 2 episode tag
by LtTanyaBoone
Summary: "Someone screams. An anguished sound, full of pain and torture." episode tag to S09E09 Engaged Pt 2 SO SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODE!


_Disclaimers:_ NCIS, the rights to the show and its characters do not belong to me. No money was made by this.  
><em>Spoilers: <strong>S09E09 Engaged Pt 2<strong>_]  
><em>Pairing:<em> Ziva/Gibbs father/daughter_  
><em>_Summary: _episode tag to Engaged Pt 2 [S09E09] so major spoilers for the episode

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><p>It's long after they have left the Navy Yard and he has been at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier that she comes to see him. He noticed she had been easily distracted at work, drifting off into her own thoughts when they took a breath and short break. He didn't push her, figured she'd work it out herself, or come to him if she couldn't. There are things that aren't easily discussed, with her background, he's pretty sure that Quincy wasn't the first man she saw die, but everyone is different.<p>

He doesn't stop working on the wood until she reaches the bottom of the stairs and goes straight to his workbench to pour herself a glass of bourbon, downing the contents and coughing. He sets down his tools and watches her back. She turns the mason jar on the bench, creating circles in the fine sawdust that is lingering on the surface.

"I talked to his family." she suddenly says, turning around to face him. Still, he doesn't say anything but watches her posture, tense, ready to attack, to defend, silent warning to tread with caution. "They thanked me." she spits as if the words are poison. He raises an eyebrow in surprise. So that's where the problem is.

"And you don't think you deserve that." he nods, walking around the sawhorse to lean against it, facing her. Ziva balls her fists and then unclenches them, once, twice, three times until she draws a deep breath and forces herself to relax against his workbench.

"No. No, I do not deserve that." she slowly admits, rubbing a hand over her face. "Every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing his face. The expression in his eyes. Only…"

"Only what?" he presses on, taking a step towards her.

"Only they're not his eyes."

"Whose?" Gibbs pushes, coming to stand in front of her. Ziva shakes her head, looking away from him. "Talk to me, Ziver. Who'd you see?"

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><p><em>The sun is beating down on them. Her boots feel heavier than usual, as if cast from lead. The assault rifle in her sweaty hands is slipping slightly and she has to adjust her grip for the fifth time. The heavy helmet is protecting her head, but she knows that it will do very little against snipers. Sweat trickles down her neck and she is pretty sure that, come nightfall, she will be sporting a nice sunburn.<em>

_Their commanding officer takes a wide step to the side, around a small rock, scanning the dusty ground every step, eyes flickering between the road, ground, sky, shrubbery. The houses in the distance seem to be swimming as the heat rises from the ground. _

_The commander signals for them to split into three groups, one for each side of the road and one for the road itself. They reach the entrance of the small village. The sunlight catches in a broken glass bottle, blinding Ziva momentarily. She turns her head and catches a movement behind the window of the first house, opening her mouth she yells a warning just as the window explodes with shots being fired at them._

_Everything slows down, as if someone pressed 'slow motion' on a movie. The only thing she hears is the sound of her thundering heartbeat and ragged breathing as she raises her rifle and takes aim. A bullet whizzes past her. The sickening sound of it tearing through clothes, skin, the heavy sound of a body dropping to her left cuts through the fog. In a split second, her life goes from slow motion to chaos and with the voice missing from the orders and commands around her, she knows who fell even before their medic yells "MAN DOWN!"_

_It doesn't even take ten minutes to clear the road. They win, of course, because they are more and better trained and because it must be HaShem's will. At least that's what the Rabbi will say when he comes to them once they return to camp. Amit is kneeling besides the body of their commanding officer, checking for a pulse and shaking his head when he finds none, the man's face turned into the dusty road soaked with blood._

_Ziva breathes in, once, twice and reaches up to take off her helmet and wipe the sweat from her forehead before she remembers that Levi wasn't the only one who fell. She jogs to the wall she saw the medic drag their team member to, falling into the dust next to the body of her friend._

_"Sarah…" she breathes, taking in the red splotches on the dusty uniform, how drenched the medic's hands are. Looking up at Itai, she finds him shaking his head, lips moving in a silent prayer. And Sarah's dark eyes are wide and terrified. She knows, Ziva realizes. Still she presses her own hands to the bullet wounds that turned her friend into swiss cheese and yells at the others to call a medevac. To get help._

_"Ziva…" Sarah breathes, her voice rattled. She coughs, a wet sound and Ziva presses her eyes shut at hearing it. No. No, this is not happening, this will not happen, not now, not today, not to Sarah, no. "Shit." her friend groans, kicking her legs against the ground in pain and Ziva looks up at her face. There are two red smears on her cheek, blood obviously put there by a hand that patted her face to prevent her from closing her eyes. Before Itai realized that it would be too late, no matter what he does._

_"It's okay, hang in there, help's on its way." Ziva assures her, seeing Amit step up to them, out of Sarah's line of vision. Wordlessly, he holds up the broken receiver for their radio module. No. Ziva shakes her head rapidly, her vision blurring. Something presses down on her wrist and she turns her head to find Sarah staring up at her, fear shining in her black orbs._

_"Ziva, go." Itai tells her, putting a new pack of gauze to one of the bullet holes in Sarah's uniform._

_"Stay, please." Sarah breathes, panic in her voice and Ziva squeezes her eyes shut against the tears, sniffling before nodding._

_"Ziva, I said-"_

_"I'm not leaving her!" she yells at Itai, glaring at him before focusing on her friend. She reaches up and takes off Sarah's helmet in a vain attempt to make her comfortable, stroking her soiled hands over her dark curls to soothe her. "I'm here, I'm staying, you're not alone." she assures her, and all of a sudden, Sarah's eyes are full of calm and her face relaxes._

_"Tell them." she starts and Ziva swallows thickly, nodding._

_"Who?" she asks, grabbing Sarah's hand and returning the hard squeeze as the other girl fights to breathe._

_"My pa-rents, tell them I- love them." she presses out, moaning in pain when Itai presses down hard on her wounds, refusing to give up just yet. Ziva has never seen someone cry like that, so silent but desperate. "And Isaac, tell h-im I'm pr-oud." Sarah hiccoughs, blood mixing with her salvia and forming spit bubbles._

_"Your parents and Isaac." Ziva nods. "I will tell them, I promise I will tell them."_

_"I'm so-" Sarah's face contorts in pain and Ziva feels her throat closing up, a scream fighting to the surface, cutting off her air. She bites down hard on her lip, so hard she draws blood, but the pain does the trick and fights down the scream._

_"I'm sorry." Sarah presses out, the stength of her grip letting up and Ziva shakes her head in denial. No, not her, not today, not now, not here, not like this. No, this will not happen, she will not let her die, she can't lose her, not Sarah, not-_

_"It's not your fault." Ziva chokes out and Sarah shakes her head, slowly, a sad smile forming on her bloody lips._

_"Don't lie- to the- dying, Zi-va." she barely gets out, drawing another strangled breath before her hand suddenly goes limp and her chest stops rising. Shocked, Ziva stares into her face, into the eyes, wide open and staring into nothingness. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Amit drop down to his knees, his face turned to the sky, his body shaking._

_Someone screams. An anguished sound, full of pain and torture. Strong arms are wrapping around her from behind and she fights against the hold, fights whoever is pulling her away from Sarah. She can't hear what they are yelling in her ear over that scream, that sound that makes your blood run cold and your skin crawl. It's not until she has to draw a breath that Ziva realizes she is the one screaming._

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><p>Gibbs swallows thickly, watching as the woman in front of him is blinking back tears.<p>

"She was the closest thing I had to a real friend." Ziva mutters. "We went to the same school, had the same classes and went into the IDF together. And two months before our time was up she was killed."

Ziva takes a step forward and he follows the motion, letting her get away from him physically as she starts pacing before pausing, pressing down on the bridge of her nose as if fighting off a headache.

"What did her parents say, when you told them?" Gibbs asks her and when she turns around to face him and he sees her eyes widen and fill with guilt, he knows why this is weighing so heavy on her conscience.

"I never contacted them." Ziva breathes, a tear trailing down her face. "I couldn't. I couldn't face them, couldn't look into their faces, see their pain and grief… Sarah was not even two meters to my left, those bullets could've just as well gone into me, and it would've been my body that returned home, not hers. She had a brother and parents to live for, I had no one. How was I supposed to face them?"

Gibbs turns, pouring them both a drink and holds out a jar to her. She slowly walks closer again, taking it, this time sipping on the liquid.

"I told my father. He came to see me, for once. They were worried because of my… mental breakdown. Worried that the next time they handed me a rifle, I would kill myself, or worse, turn it on my unit." she shook her head, turning the jar in her hand, fascinated by the way the liquid swirled in it. "I told Eli what Sarah had said. He promised he would relay the message." Ziva frowns.

"He didn't." Gibbs states, not even the hint of a question in his voice.

"No." she shakes her head. "After I had joined Mossad, I ran into Isaac, Sarah's brother. He asked me if I was with her when she died, if she had said anything…" her voice trailed off. "He killed himself nine months later. Couldn't bear the loss."

They stand in silence and he watches her worry her lip, deep in thought before he reaches out and takes the glass from her hands, brushing his against her palm, stroking the soft skin in an attempt to comfort.

"I miss her." she breathes, tears swimming in her eyes again. "I promised her and I broke that promise, how can I ever-" Ziva trails of, clenching her eyes shut against the flood of tears she can't fight any longer. Gibbs reaches for her and draws her into a hug, ignoring how weird this feels with her and not Abby, ignoring how tense she is. He simply wraps his arms around her lightly and kisses her forehead, holding onto her until he feels her melt into him, her hands clenching in his shirt as her body shakes with silent sobs.

"Did what you could." he softly tells her, running his hand down her back and back up. "And you contacted Quincy's family. You kept that promise."

Ziva gives a soft hiccough, her face turning into his shirt. Doing something for the family of a man that pretty much was a stranger isn't the same as delivering their final words to a friend's family, but it is a step to let go of the past to be able to focus on the future.

_FIN_

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